So REAL!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011 12:28 PM, EST

written by Heather Dalik

So REAL!

Gail posted in our guest book, "oh, Heather you are so real".  If you knew me before Cora got sick, I have always been a real person.  Ask me how I am doing and I will tell you.  Make me mad and you will know.  I have never had time for fluff and stuff.  I emailed a mom supporter after an outing I had last week.  I hoped to make her laugh with my rendition of what happened.  She asked to post it on her daughters Caring Bridge site.  I forgot about it and a few days later, I was reading her post, laughing and realized, it was my story.  I thought I would share a real story with you so you can feel what my new life is like.  This is pasted from Gretchen's journal.

A friend of mine, Heather, has a little girl with aplastic anemia. She had a bone marrow transplant 100 days ago (yeah Cora!!!) and so far, is responding well. Heather emailed me the other day with the following, which perfectly sums up exactly the mind-set of cancer moms (she gave me permission to post this, by the way):

“So, there I am minding my own business at Ann Taylor Loft.  I went in to get a sweater because I am cold.  I found a t-shirt, no sweater.  In line, I realize there is a fundraiser for St. Jude.  The girl on the poster has no hair but eyebrows and eyelashes - clearly not the sickest of the sick.  I am put out by this.  Show a real sick kid for gods sake.  Better yet, show her haggard parents.  Anyway, everytime someone donates, the happy employees ring a bell and whoop.  Lovely!  Deciding whether to throw the shirt on the ground or not and walk out.  But heck, it was a good deal (only $10) and it is cute.  So, I stay in line.  "Would you like to donate to St. Jude?"  Me- "No thank you"  Sales girl - "Wouldn't you like to help sick kids?"  

Seriously?  You asked for it!  "My daughter is one of those sick kids you are raising money for"  Silence.  Happy music stops.  Cashiers are suddenly unable to make eye contact.  Another customer gasps.  I turned on my heels and walked out with my cute, cheap shirt.  

By the time I got to the Lancome counter to get my mascara, I am a blubbering fool.  That poor girl had no idea what to do with me so she acted like she didn't see the tears streaming down my face, got me my mascara and ran away from me as fast as she could.  

Not sure if I will write this for Caring Bridge but I am sure it was funny to an onlooker.  I am starting to think I shouldn't leave the house unattended.”

THIS is the life of a cancer mom (I include Heather as a cancer mom even though Cora does not have cancer – she gets chemo for goodness sake so that is enough for me). We are crazy. Certifiably insane. But, truth be told, I feel the same way at Safeway every time the cashier asks me about donating for cancer research. I just want to burst into tears because Alyssa is one of those kids on the poster. And I don’t want her to be the kid on the poster. But she is. And that is our reality. So, nice lady at Safeway who ALWAYS, ALWAYS gets my name wrong even though I am there three or four times a week, if I am crying, it is because my baby is the child on the poster. And I just want to get her food and leave without you REMINDING me that she has cancer, and that there is a need for research because we aren’t able to save everyone yet.

This is my new "real" life.  And yes, I know Christmas is right around the corner so I hope this story made you laugh and not feel sad. 

Speaking of Christmas, if you have been part of the magic of Christmas happening at our house, thank you so very much.  I don't know who you are but you do.  Our kids are going to be speechless on Sunday. 

Cora will go to clinic tomorrow for counts.  I would like to report she is healthy but I am afraid to say that out loud.  The fear of a Christmas hospitalization is so real expecially since  Andrew is on antibiotic.  When I was working, I used to loose my voice and cough a dry cough when under extreme stress.  I have that going on right now.  Keep your fingers crossed that this isn't an illness but my body's way of fighting back. 

Please continue to pray for Cora's wellness and great counts on Thursday!

Be CORAgeous!

Ps - Cora is supposed to be napping.  On the monitor I hear "Oh toodles?"  Sooooo cute!