focus

focus

Written Jul 17, 2012 2:08pm by Heather Dalik

Sarah's homily this morning - focus.  Focus on the storyboard in your mind, the stories you have with Sarah.  Pictures, events, and moments.

In the church, I reflected on when I met the McMahons.  I responded to an add in the newspaper (ewww - I know, this was 16 years ago).  They needed a nanny for their infant.  I was drawn to the ad, drawn to the interview and drawn to the baby.  Little known secret - I don't do babies!  I did not set out to be a baby nanny.  But, drawn like a magnet to this little creature.  And that is how we went for many months to come (neither Deb nor I can remember at what point I got my teaching job and left them).  Sarah and I would play, take walks, and do craft projects.  I remember when she started eating solid and how feeding her took all morning.  I remember when she clapped for me for the first time.  Mostly, I remember thinking this baby was special.  

The last time I saw Sarah, they were preparing to travel to St. Jude.  She looked so good and I commented that it was impossible to see the war being waged inside her body.  "I know, but how is Cora?", she asked.  Her focus was always on the others around her.  I wanted to talk to Sarah, to give her some of my strength and give her the power to fight.  She wanted to talk about Cora (who was running around, amusing everyone at clinic)

I have spent the last two days crying, until I could cry no more.  I think this might be the big meltdown that Bridget warned me about (I am okay if this is it because I have been fearing the melt down.)  On the way home from the funeral today, I digested the message - focus!  Focus on Grace, Andrew and Cora.  Focus on healing our family.  Life had started to creep back in and my focus was blurry - too many activities, too much running, not enough time together.  Focus!

It was an honor to have known Sarah.  

Be CORAgeous!